What could be sweeter than reciting self-written vows while standing alongside the love of one's life? That's what I was thinking when my now-husband and I decided to write our own vows. Still, like many things about a wedding, it was not as simple as it seemed.
There were a few steps that we had to take before sitting down and writing away. First, we needed to check with our officiant to make sure he was okay with it--and he was. He did not need to see the vows beforehand, but this is a requirement in some faith communities.
We had to decide if we wanted to collaborate on writing our vows or if we wanted to each write our own separate vows. We went with the latter.
In the end my husband and I wrote our vows at 3 a.m. and 5 a.m., respectively, the morning of the wedding. I do not recommend this! We felt rushed, and it compounded the wedding-related stress we were already feeling. Ideally, the bride and groom would write their vows at least a month before the wedding, and perhaps earlier if the officiant needed to approve them.
Although writer's block struck pretty hard, we were both able to move past it and create something meaningful. I focused on some poignant memories we had. He focused on our future together. Between us, we seemed to cover all the bases, which was a nice surprise since we chose not to share our vows ahead of time. Both of us threw in a bit of humor, which our guests loved. So really, everything worked out for the best. But I still wouldn't recommend waiting until the last minute!