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Year in Review 2010
1/16/2011  •  Comment
By zzirf

The main problem in writing this is that I cannot remember very much about 2010.  I spent most of it waiting.  Waiting to be well enough to go camping.  I like to be out with nature and I figured it would be OK if I went alone so I could do things at my own pace even if that meant doing nothing more than walking to the toilet block and back and cooking on a gas stove.  I've done it before for a week or so.  I've done it with a girlfriend but in 2010 I only went once on what turned out to be a wet weekend in Imbil.  I spent so much time waiting for things to be right, the weather, my stamina and my friend but it only came together once in May.  As usual I had a relapse and given the weather, this time the trip was not worth the relapse.

You know, if I had money, I would not be doing it the tough way camping anyway.  It kills my back.  But sometimes, I have to get out of town and because it is usually an impromptu decision, I usually do my little outings alone.  Most of my more distant outings in 2010 revolved once again around trips to the bulk billing allied health dentist in Noosaville which meant travelling for an hour anyway just to get there so I always packed a thermos and some tucker and a chair.  However I had to cancel many appointments because I was not well enough to go and I must say I started to detect some bad vibes because of it from the receptionist.  Right now I only remember a couple of extended dentist days.  One was to Maroochy River and Dunethin Rock because I had never seen this area of the Sunshine Coast before and I met Rob once or twice to share my coffee at the Noosa River foreshore.  My funding ran out in October so that was the end of dental treatment and I have not left Caloundra since.  Surely I must have gone to the beach for a swim over Summer 2010 but I spent more time at Happy Valley Park this year either just sitting near the car, cooking breakfast on the BBQ or sometimes going for a walk along the boardwalk.  Honestly my life has become rather dull this year, not going much of anywhere and yes you can blame my health for it.  Fish and chips at Military Jetty was fairly common if Rob managed to talk me in to leaving the house - but that is just down the road.

My son spent the year living here and so 2010 was a year where I expected to relapse less because I now had someone doing most of the cooking and the cleaning.  I was less active in the house but because I spent most of the year feeling less than capable of doing it myself, I was half grateful.  There were so many changes to the way I would normally do things from eating to sleeping to cleaning and gardening that it also was a very stressful year. I was not ready to accept losing control of my life and submit to being taken care of especially by a son who was critical of my lifestyle.  He did what he did out of disgust (obsessive-compulsive disorder) not compassion.  He ruined Christmas by not even eating with me.  He had moved out a couple of weeks before so I had put in all the effort for him and only him this year.  I was pretty ill at the time and the effort I put in was paced but taxing nevertherless.

I managed to get through Winter with no major colds or flu but I just wasn't very good this year in general so that my one big effort to finally get to see my other son and grandson in Gympie for an overnight stay caused a relapse from which I have not yet recoverd.  That was mid-November.  I've had cough since not long after that...a chest infection I did not know I had, and elevated ESR and CRP indicating a virus "she says" and my glands have not got down.  Even the glands under my arms.  The aches and pains were so bad all I have been able to think about is pain killers.  I want pain killers.

In December 13th, I went back to Dr C.

Tags: cfs, mecfs, fibromyalgia