Everything seemed on the up and up until May this year when I caught a virus just before my trip to Melbourne and contracted it while I was away.  I left for Melbourne with some energy and came back 2 weeks later with none despite being over the worst of the virus that no-one else down there caught.  The mechanic I dealt with before I left had the virus badly at first and then chronically for at least 2 months after the onset.  For me I did not feel like I was starting to pull out of it until October some time by which time Scott was also living here and had been for a month.  Nevertheless I was fluctuating according to activity levels but I was becoming happy to trade off a good day out for a couple of days in bed.  I was using the dentist trips to Noosaville as excuses for eating takeaway, visiting places long since seen and catching up with Rob for coffee.  I discovered Stumers Creek Coolum thanks to Rob.  I was well enough to consider camping on and off but it did not seem to eventuate due to the weather, my insecurity about going alone and ofcourse money.  However I think the main reason I felt so desperate to go was that I knew i was not getting the state of "freedom from care" that I would normally be able to place myself in when I was living alone.  Without such a state in which to recover, people with fibromyalgia do not seem to recover at all but instead they just go up and down with their stress levels which are a direct result of having other people to deal with.

If you haven't got the energy to care while someone is living with you who does have more than enough energy, then there is conflict.  Add to that the sleep disturbance and you find enough to deal with on a daily basis.  I certainly had no spare energy yet I did not accomplish anything physical.  Scott was doing most things, which was sort of nice but I was now eating his kind of food.  I think I was better off just buying Lean Cuisine's when they were on special as far as my weight goes. The lawn got a makeover by Scott but I wonder if I can keep up with it to keep it green when he leaves maybe next week.  I have had a housekeeper in Scott and plenty of Connor but many times that is more than my body can put up with and I have been depressed about not being able to be free to do what I think my body wants from me, before it rebels.  Noise seems to hurt and when you cannot turn it off without upsetting someone, things get tough. But after my latest relapse during the past two weeks, I can tell I am getting out the other side because noises are not making me cranky and it is even Connor weekend.

Last Connor weekend, I was so tired and desperate for solitude and rest that I imagined laying in the car somewhere, anywhere, away from here.  After days of trying to find a free place that did not involve the Gateway tollway and its new system, I ended up going to Bribie Island, hoping to wake up at Turner's camp and laze the day away somewhere in the cool.  It was so hot lately and the weekend wasn't going to be any better.  I had a bad night, trying to sleep in the back of the car and a very early 3am start to the next day thanks to me setting off the car alarm.  I was not too bad considering, but I should have known that the few things I did, eg finding toilets, cooking bacon and eggs for breakfast, a little wader bird stroll, a lizard and owl photoshoot would eventually make me desperate to lay down the body. In did not find anywhere that really worked for my body but the heat forced me to stay on the blowy ocean in a semi-state of rest but it just wasn't very comfortable on the incline that was forced on all of us thanks to the beach erosion.

After another attempt to chill out in the treed covering of skirmish point car park, and being side tracked by a white mottled magpie, I never did get to go horizonta